My attempt to move from Southern California and create a happy and sustainable urban homestead in North Dakota, with some musings on life with deaf dogs, a gluten free spouse, and the occasional mischievous garden gnome. Thank you for visiting and I hope you enjoy.



Monday, May 16, 2011

My Spam Folder Thinks I'm Getting Old

I pay a good deal of attention to my spam folder.  I'm not the kind of guy who just blindly deletes the e-mails and moves on to other tasks or ignores my spam folder completely.  Because even though these e-mails are unsolicited and full of scams, lies, and false propaganda, I still think they have something to say to me.  And lately I think my spam folder thinks I'm getting old.

Sure I still get e-mails offering the newest and most advanced herbal reproductive organ supplements, but lately there have been more offers for generic Viagra, Cialis, and other ED medication - mailed discretely from a reputable "Canadian" pharmacy.  My spam folder thinks that I'm getting less concerned about the size of my God given endowment (a young man's issue) than I am about my ability to keep said God given endowment attentive and able to be utilized (more of a mature man's issue).

And yes there are still plenty of hot Russian and Ukrainian women offering themselves as candidates to be my next wife.  And yes they are still more than happy to offer graphic descriptions of their abilities and proclivities, but nowadays they seem more likely to be seeking "distinguished gentlemen" or state they are "good for a mature man" (yes these are both quotes from recent spam I've received).  What gives?  I'm neither distinguished or mature. 

Fewer are the promises to find hot young singles in my area, and more frequent are the solicitations to locate that high school classmate before my upcoming reunion.  Have I crossed the imaginary spam line from likely to be seeking hot young singles to be more likely to be undergoing some midlife crisis by reuniting with a high school flame*?  I'm closer to my 10 year high school reunion (it was a while ago) than I am to my 25 year reunion (it's not for a while), so what gives?
*the joke's on them. I was not the most popular dude in high school and don't really have any long lost high school flames pining for me.  I know, I know this is hard for you to believe, but it's true. 

I get more offers for cruises, genuine Rolex watches, and tees times at the most exclusive golf courses than I used to receive.  These all seem like offers and possessions of an affluent older gentleman, not a young dashing gentleman such as myself.  Does my spam folder think I'm getting old?  Yeah, I do.

2 comments:

Karen said...

Good Heavens, Viagra, Cialis and Ukrainian Women? And you're only twenty-something? Oh, my, and I thought it was bad turning 50 and all the AARP stuff.

I do get spam comments on my blog once in awhile offering those herbal enlargement supplements; I decline politely since my posts are already way too large. Silly spammers.

Karen said...

What a hilarious post, El Gaucho! Your spam folder sends you the raciest stuff, all I ever get is offers for Discount Old People Medicine.

Wait til you hit 50. Sigh.