I was hesitant to write this post since I was afraid Alycia would be angered by my publicly calling out her shortcomings. In this case her shortcoming is her blatant disregard for seasonal holidays by procrastinating/refusing to take down our Christmas wreath in an appropriate amount of time.
Alycia and I have regular quid pro quos in our daily lives involving chores. These are harmless exchanges of the "if you clean out the lint trap in the dryer I'll polish the door knobs" or "you brush Tito's teeth and I'll stick my hand in the blender". So when she agreed to take down her Christmas wreath when/if I put away the Christmas lights she probably thought she had it made. Since I am known to procrastinate on such things and I also like looking at the pretty Christmas lights, she must have thought this was quite the savvy bargain since the odds were good that those lights would be up until, well until next Christmas.
So when I took down the Christmas lights in late February I gave her a week or so to fulfill her end of the bargain by taking down the wreath. But nothing happened. So I started giving her grief about it. Lots of grief.
In her defense the Christmas wreath has several things going for it. It's hanging over a door in the entryway and really isn't in the way. It also hasn't dropped ANY needles in five months. I'm not sure what manner of genetically modified evergreen boughs this thing is made of, but the fact that it hasn't shed any needles is weird, freaky, and just plain unnatural. I keep trying to casually brush it as I walk but I'm afraid that it's so dry that even casual contact could create enough friction to cause it to instantaneously combust.
The Christmas wreath also has sand dollars and fake starfish attached to it, making it less of a Christmas wreath than a summer beach wreath. Now I may not get out much, but I have never heard of a summer beach wreath. Perhaps this is just another attempt by the insidious wreath industry to gain a foothold in another holiday, but I doubt it.