The results of the poll are in, and winner of the Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes 2011 Deaf Dog of the year is......Tito. Sigh. Tito's prize for wining was me not verbally abusing him for an entire day, quite the prize. Needless to say the prize would have been different had anyone else won.
Now let me say how utterly disappointed I am in you all. Very disappointed. As I sat down to discuss the poll results with the three pooches, I saw the inevitable looks of sadness from Shadowfax, who wondered if she was cute enough, playful enough, or engaged in an adequate amount of puppy hijinks to satisfy voters. I wasn't too concerned about her, she's young, and likely has many awards in her future.
I saw in Shaak Ti the all too familiar look of the vanquished and forgotten middle child (I have seen this look many times in the mirror) who appeared crestfallen at her third place finish. Shaak Ti was inconsolable and cried many deaf dog tears, unable to comprehend why she finished last in our inaugural Deaf Dog of the Year contest. You made Shaak Ti cry, I hope you're happy with yourselves.
I also actively weep for the future of our country. Here we are in an election year and you have all voted for the most ornery, irascible, and wholly unelectable candidate, and this is just for Deaf Dog of the Year.
A special "I'm very disappointed in you" shout out goes out to Alycia's friend "A" (name partially redacted) who wrote her an e-mail bragging that they were having a grand old time manipulating the poll for their own amusement. Sigh. The e-mail actually went on to describe how happy they were to be committing this particularly onerous manner of voter fraud because they knew that Tito winning the poll would greatly annoy me. Double sigh.
I guess the lesson learned here is that Democracy in action isn't always predictable, and sometimes the results aren't what you would expect or prefer. Sometimes the candidate you voted for isn't the one who wins, and sometimes the winner might be the most detestable of the lot. We'll spend the next year emphasizing the good traits of Shaak Ti and Shadowfax, and downplay the accomplishments (if any) of Tito. Hopefully the 2012 Deaf Dog of the Year contest turns out differently.
4 comments:
Sorry... But that is hilarious!
Can you hear us belly laughing all the way from England? we feel your pain JOhn, but this is truly a funny result. Admittedly, James predicted a Tito win, but consolation pats go out to Shaak Ti and Shadowfax.
I'm glad you guys are entertained by all this. Tito has been flouncing around the house since he heard he was the winner, throwing his victory in everyone's face. Every time I tell him to do something he's like "Man, screw you, I'm like the deaf dog of the year, I don't have to listen to you". It sucks.
I'm sorry, John! My condolences to Shadowfax and Shaak Ti. I was hoping Tito would be more gracious about his landslide victory. Tell him if he keeps it up, there could be a recall election.
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