My attempt to move from Southern California and create a happy and sustainable urban homestead in North Dakota, with some musings on life with deaf dogs, a gluten free spouse, and the occasional mischievous garden gnome. Thank you for visiting and I hope you enjoy.



Wednesday, January 11, 2012

2011 Deaf Dog of the Year

I was inspired by one of my favorite blogs (Montana Wildlife Gardener) and his 2011 Cat of the Year post.  Yes this is a blatant example of bloggo-theft, but his post was incredibly funny and a great idea, I couldn't help but appropriate it for my own nefarious purposes.

In the interest of conferring more power to my loyal blog readers in the form of feedback and voting, let's see who you would vote for in the Inaugural Deaf Dog of the Year contest.  Voting is on the upper left part of the screen, and please leave a comment as to who you voted for and why.  Here are your three choices for 2011 Deaf Dog of the Year (presented in order of seniority):

Tito the Wonder Puppy (aliases - Tito, Toberto, Toe, Berto, F@%khead, Chubbs)
2011 Accomplishments - Took the meaning of close companionship to the next level by never being more than 6 feet away at all times (this would be considered stalking if he were a person). Stoically cycled through 5 sessions of antibiotics, mostly due to impacted anal glands.  Protects the grill at the Cavalier estate with a level of security rivaled only by Ft. Knox.  Has (allegedly) become friendlier and less angry, allowing people to pet him.

Flaws and Negative Press - His obsessive compulsive licking habit has worsened.  Despite his orneriness detente, he is still prone to snapping at any moment.  He has decided he no longer wants to be burdened with the arduous task of walking up stairs and has to be carried up to bed every night. He has a generally bad attitude and negative outlook on life.  Has a very greasy pelt (this is partially from not being bathed regularly and partially from constantly rolling in nasty crap outside).  Spends every walk hunting for bunny poop to eat.

Key Voting Demographics - the elderly, the angry, the ornery, Antonio Banderas fans, old men who shake their canes at the damn kids, those who wish that it was socially acceptable to be able to bite others.  

Jedi Master Shaak Ti (aliases - Shaak Ti, R-Dog, Skuzzlebutt, Spotterdog, Scoops, Squito Burrito)
Accomplishments - Required no vet visits from self inflicted trauma or crashes in 2011.  Plays well with big little sister Shadowfax and is able to give her a run for money despite being half her size.  Stands constant vigil over the house from the upstairs window, ensuring that no intruders: human, dog, or squirrel penetrate the outer defenses.  Continues to exhibit her awesome jumping abilities.  Actively loved Grandpa and Grandma.

Flaws and Negative Press - Still doesn't understand the concept of sleeping in past 5:45 am.  Causes left shoulder deltoid or rotator cuff injuries due to her constant exuberant pulling and running on the leash.  Crazy singing and off key "woo-wooing" are amazingly loud for a dog her size.  Is high maintenance and constantly demands pets, whines loudly when not petted or allowed into laps.  Finicky eater, prefers Grandmas kibble and gravy scrambled egg surprise to her regular food and goes days without eating in protest when we serve just kibble. 

Key Voting Demographics - ultra marthoners, extreme sports enthusiasts, professional/amateur yodelers, descendents of Lewis and Clark, historical re-enactment participants, people with a zest for life, vegetarians/vegans/gluten free folk. 

Shadowfax (aliases - Puppy, Puppytown, The Town, Sweaterdog, Barklesaurus, Thrashy)
Accomplishments - Reduced the size of wood pile by chomping and eating logs.  Passed three obedience class and is awesome with performing her many tricks.  Leaves festive rainbow colored poops in the backyard from all the various toys she consumes.  Good foot and slipper warmer.  Loves all human visitors, and despite her training, jumps on them, giving them kisses.  Sleeps through the night in her crate without complaint and is generally a good napper. 

Flaws and Negative Press - Constantly interrupts any attempt at work in the home office by shoving a wet, chewed upon toy onto my computer or lap and demanding I play with her.  Has crazy howling, yowling, screeching barks when she sees something (squirrel or dog) outside from the upstairs window.  Occasionally plays to rough with Shaak Ti and has to put on time out.  Had a six month stretch of late night barfing, that seems to have abated now (I hope - knock on wood).  Has yet to understand that mud and sticks are outside only toys.

Key Voting Demographics - young voters, people who have ever been stereotyped due to how they look, toddlers and children with dirty faces, professional wrestling aficionados.

4 comments:

gardenwalkgardentalk.com said...

I don't know...picking a winner is hard since they all have endearing qualities. Shadowfax may be my choice. I like the slobbery kisses and the jumping... well you have to get up there somehow. Cute post. I love dogs and really miss mine. I keep saying I will get another, but you know how that goes when you have had the best buds in the world already.

El Gaucho said...

If you like big slobbery kisses and enthusiastic greetings, Shadowfax is certainly the right choice.

I totally understand waiting to get another dog. We haven't gotten to the point where we've had to say goodbye to any of our furry kids, but I dread that day. Hopefully one day if/when you're ready for another pooch...

Michelle Nemec said...

Shadowfax! Mostly b/c she's the only one I've actually met, but also because I'm proud of her obedience accomplishments (even if she does forget her manners sometimes!). Although, I do have a sincere appreciation for Tito's 'screw life' attitude...

Karen said...

Tito the Wonder Puppy has my vote, not because the other two dogs don't sound amazing, but because he reminds me of our dog, Teddy the Tyrant. Tito and Teddy really have alot in common from the smelly, itchy, crazed licking bouts and the unexplained attraction to rabbit poop. Ear and eye infections abound with him and he always has a growl for everyone. He is a curmudgeon of the highest order. And lately, I have to put his leash on him and carry him out of the house to go for walks. He's so not thrilled. Let's hear it for the dogs who think they're cats. We don't own them, they own us.