A transplanted Southern Californian living in North Dakota Idaho, with some insights on life with deaf dogs, a gluten free spouse, and the occasional mischievous garden gnome. Thank you for visiting and I hope you enjoy.





Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Mitt in Michigan

I went out to water the blueberry bushes this morning since we've been experiencing a bit of Santa Ana winds that have left things drier than normal, and ran into Frederick and Franklin (as they both reside in the blueberry bushes). Frederick has currently taken up residence under the O'Neal Rabbiteye bush while Franklin has staked out the Sunshine Blue plant. Gnomes tend to stay in the same place for a few weeks or months, then as seasons and weather patterns change, move along to a different location in the yard that suits their tastes. Itinerant wanders indeed are garden gnomes.

Unknown to most folks, though naturally aloof, gnomes are highly involved in discourses of world affairs, economics, and especially politics. They tend to be fiscally conservative and small government minded, but liberal to indifferent on social issues. They defy conventional classifications, rarely vote as a single block, and would probably be best described as liberal independents. This makes them unpredictable but highly entertaining in discussions of political affairs.

Naturally this morning the subject of Mitt the Mormon's stunning victory in the Michigan primary was the lead discussion topic of the day. I walked smack dab into Frederick and Franklin discussing the electability of Mitt considering his "unusual" religious affiliation.

"I'm less concerned about the religion of our next president than I am his being named after a piece of sporting equipment. President Mitt to see you Sir. That just sounds silly, we'll be the laughingstock of the world." Frederick stated.

"Well I'll tell you this, if that insane Huckabee wins, I'm moving to Canada, or possibly becoming a member of the Lakota nation", I interjected.

"Seriously" Frederick chortled. "Did you read that quote from him where he acknowledged that God helped him win the Iowa Caucus."

"There's only one explanation for it, and it's not a human one. It's the same
power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed
a crowd of five thousand people. That's the only way that our campaign can
be doing what it's doing." - Verbatim quote from Mike Huckabee


"But didn't your boy Denny Kucinich admit the other day that he's seen aliens?" Franklin piped in. "You want to talk about someone who's popping crazy pills. Aliens???"

"I'd rather have a candidate admit they simply saw aliens, rather than admit an unseen, unknown, but omniscient force helps and influences him. Is this a guy you want with control over a nuclear arsenal?" I agreed. "What if that "same power" told him to unilaterally invade Antarctica? He may be a smooth talker and have some good ideas, but he's got too much of the crazy crazy for my tastes".

They both agreed that it's probably for the best that the individual running our country isn't influenced by outside forces that no one else can see, hear, or verify their existence. Not to mention the possibility that Huckabee might enact a law mandating weekly church attendance on the Sabbath and requiring tithing 25% of ones income. A slippery slope indeed.

And with the two gnomes still excitedly jabbering away, I turned and made my way back into the house. It was early and I hadn't had my morning cup(s) of coffee yet, way too early for that manner of discussion.

No comments: