The Littlest Truck Driver

Little Trucker Jacob driving his Caterpillar tractor.  He's probably honking the horn or givin' em the ol "get outta my way" hand gesture that his Dad taught him. 

2011 Deaf Dog of the Year

I was inspired by one of my favorite blogs (Montana Wildlife Gardener) and his 2011 Cat of the Year post.  Yes this is a blatant example of bloggo-theft, but his post was incredibly funny and a great idea, I couldn't help but appropriate it for my own nefarious purposes.

In the interest of conferring more power to my loyal blog readers in the form of feedback and voting, let's see who you would vote for in the Inaugural Deaf Dog of the Year contest.  Voting is on the upper left part of the screen, and please leave a comment as to who you voted for and why.  Here are your three choices for 2011 Deaf Dog of the Year (presented in order of seniority):

Tito the Wonder Puppy (aliases - Tito, Toberto, Toe, Berto, F@%khead, Chubbs)

2011 Accomplishments - Took the meaning of close companionship to the next level by never being more than 6 feet away at all times (this would be considered stalking if he were a person). Stoically cycled through 5 sessions of antibiotics, mostly due to impacted anal glands.  Protects the grill at the Cavalier estate with a level of security rivaled only by Ft. Knox.  Has (allegedly) become friendlier and less angry, allowing people to pet him.

Flaws and Negative Press - His obsessive compulsive licking habit has worsened.  Despite his orneriness detente, he is still prone to snapping at any moment.  He has decided he no longer wants to be burdened with the arduous task of walking up stairs and has to be carried up to bed every night. He has a generally bad attitude and negative outlook on life.  Has a very greasy pelt (this is partially from not being bathed regularly and partially from constantly rolling in nasty crap outside).  Spends every walk hunting for bunny poop to eat.

Key Voting Demographics - the elderly, the angry, the ornery, Antonio Banderas fans, old men who shake their canes at the damn kids, those who wish that it was socially acceptable to be able to bite others.  

Jedi Master Shaak Ti (aliases - Shaak Ti, R-Dog, Skuzzlebutt, Spotterdog, Scoops, Squito Burrito)

Accomplishments - Required no vet visits from self inflicted trauma or crashes in 2011.  Plays well with big little sister Shadowfax and is able to give her a run for money despite being half her size.  Stands constant vigil over the house from the upstairs window, ensuring that no intruders: human, dog, or squirrel penetrate the outer defenses.  Continues to exhibit her awesome jumping abilities.  Actively loved Grandpa and Grandma.

Flaws and Negative Press - Still doesn't understand the concept of sleeping in past 5:45 am.  Causes left shoulder deltoid or rotator cuff injuries due to her constant exuberant pulling and running on the leash.  Crazy singing and off key "woo-wooing" are amazingly loud for a dog her size.  Is high maintenance and constantly demands pets, whines loudly when not petted or allowed into laps.  Finicky eater, prefers Grandmas kibble and gravy scrambled egg surprise to her regular food and goes days without eating in protest when we serve just kibble. 

Key Voting Demographics - ultra marthoners, extreme sports enthusiasts, professional/amateur yodelers, descendents of Lewis and Clark, historical re-enactment participants, people with a zest for life, vegetarians/vegans/gluten free folk. 

Shadowfax (aliases - Puppy, Puppytown, The Town, Sweaterdog, Barklesaurus, Thrashy)

Accomplishments - Reduced the size of wood pile by chomping and eating logs.  Passed three obedience class and is awesome with performing her many tricks.  Leaves festive rainbow colored poops in the backyard from all the various toys she consumes.  Good foot and slipper warmer.  Loves all human visitors, and despite her training, jumps on them, giving them kisses.  Sleeps through the night in her crate without complaint and is generally a good napper. 

Flaws and Negative Press - Constantly interrupts any attempt at work in the home office by shoving a wet, chewed upon toy onto my computer or lap and demanding I play with her.  Has crazy howling, yowling, screeching barks when she sees something (squirrel or dog) outside from the upstairs window.  Occasionally plays to rough with Shaak Ti and has to put on time out.  Had a six month stretch of late night barfing, that seems to have abated now (I hope - knock on wood).  Has yet to understand that mud and sticks are outside only toys.

Key Voting Demographics - young voters, people who have ever been stereotyped due to how they look, toddlers and children with dirty faces, professional wrestling aficionados.

Warmest Fall and Winter on Record in Grand Forks, Fargo

This is from the Grand Forks Herald.

According to the National Weather Service office in Grand Forks, the period from Nov. 1 to Jan. 7 was warmer this season than any other corresponding 68-day period ending Jan. 7 since 1850, in both Grand Forks and Fargo.

The average daily average temperature for the 68 days ended Saturday at the UND reporting site was 26.5 degrees, besting the previous record of 26.2 set in 1914. Third -highest was 25.2 set for the 68-day period ended Jan. 7, 2007.

You can read the full article in the Grand Forks Herald here.

Poll Results and Camera News

The results on our "What Would You Change" poll here at the Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes blog are tallied up and ready for an in depth statistical analysis.   Our winning answer was "You're awesome, just keep doing what you do".  While it's flattering and highly complimentary that my blog readers think the Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes blog is already pretty spiffy, it doesn't give me a ton of ideas for improvement.  But that's OK.  I'm going to use this as motivation to keep posting entertaining nuggets for y'all to digest and enjoy. 

And in a bit of happy news, our old digital camera decided to start working again, so there's no need to buy a new one....yet.  On the way out the door to run some errands (including buying a new camera) I tried to give the old camera one last shot.  So I smacked the camera on the table a few times and VOILA!! it worked.  It reaffirms my core belief that the best way to get sensitive electronics to work properly is to smack them on a hard surface.  To prove its functionality, I snapped the photos below of the pups sitting nicely. 

Then I waited too long to snap the next photo and the puppy decided that it was time to pounce, so we ended up with an action shot. 

Since we're having so much fun with the polls, this week there will be a new poll for you to vote on.  This poll promises to a dandy, the Deaf Dog of the Year for 2011.  And lo, it shall be awesome!!

Weird Winter Weather

It's just after noon here in Grand Forks, North Dakota, and we're at 44 degrees, headed for a likely high of upper-40's, maybe we'll even flirt with 50.  It's been an unprecedented (seriously I can't emphasize enough how unusual this is) warm winter here, so warm in fact that the snow and ice in the back yard melted yesterday, causing April/May mud conditions and allowing mischievous puppies to dip their noses and paws in fresh mud and haul it into the house.

We're headed for a record high today, tied a record high of 41 the other day (Tuesday), and broke record highs seemingly every few days in the week before and during Christmas.  The high temperatures combined with the lack of snow (we just got our first significant snows, 4-6 inches total before the New Year) has made this an almost unprecedented dry and warm winter.  Everyone I've talked has said they can't remember a winter with this little snow this late into the season, and hardly anyone can remember one, let alone multiple 40+ degree high temperatures in December and January. 

Our cross country skis and snowshoes have remained firmly entrenched in the basement closet, there's still not enough snow cover to use either.  And there's pretty much a news story every day about someone falling through the ice driving their ATV whilst ice fishing.  People are so accustomed to the "the ice is always thick enough by this time of year", that they venture out into marginally safe areas and fall through, sometimes with horrific outcomes.  Snowmobiling is a huge hobby/sport here, but we've only heard a smattering of snowmobiles, and those have only been within the last week.  All forms of winter recreation seem to be on hold for a good snowfall.

All this weird weather begs the question, is this just single seasonal aberration, or is this the new normal?  Climate change more than anything means more extreme, more severe, and just more weird weather.  Is this the first of our chickens coming home to roost?  Is this just the first annual installment that we have to pay the piper?  Nobody knows.  We could revert back to normal winter temperature and precipitation, and stay that way for the rest of winter, and folks probably wouldn't remember this stretch of weird weather.  But if this is just a harbinger of things to come, many people could be in for a serious forced lifestyle rearrangement.

In pictorial news, we're going to bite the bullet and buy a new official Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes digital camera this weekend, so pictures should return soon.  We're also going to have the results from our poll in the next few days, and a chance for readers to vote on our "Dog of the Year" for 2011.  Stay tuned...

New Poll Determines Fate of World in 2012

Rarely do individuals have the chance to change history, but you do right now, right here on the Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes blog.  Bearing in mind that your vote changes the course of this blog, please click an answer (or two) on the poll and let me know what you'd like to see more/less of in 2012.

If you happen to have an idea or suggestion that isn't a selection on the poll (this seems impossible since I've chose every possible scenario), please leave a comment.  I love comments and enjoy reading any feedback you have.

Planned Obsolescence Equals Unplanned Annoyance

Is anything built to last these days?  I hate to turn this into a tirade against the pervasive march forward of technology or a "back in my day" rant but it seems unavoidable at this point.  Our official Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes digital camera stopped working over the weekend and we're troubleshooting (aka doing some online research) to try to figure out if we can get it working again.  At this point it doesn't look good, something to do with the memory card.  My primitive mode of linear thinking leads me to believe that it would be easy enough to go out and get a new memory card for the camera, but alas they don't make new memory cards for ancient cameras like ours (it's a four year old Canon). Dagnabit!!

Faced with the prospect of having to shell out money for another digital camera after only having this one for a few years, I had to contemplate the question - Are electronics deliberately made to have a three year lifespan?  Is it assumed that there will be so much more processing speed/features/apps/whatever in three years that everyone will simply buy a new one?  Is our society so disposable that goods that once were assumed to last a lifetime, like cameras, are now deliberately built with a planned obsolescence after three or four years? 

I've owned a cell phone now for about 15 years, and in those 15 years I'm now on my third phone.  Most people my age or younger are saying "only three phones in 15 years?  OMG, what a freak!!"  Most people older than me are probably saying "that seems about right".  The only reason I've ever gotten a new phone is because the previous one stopped working or I was given a free phone.  My first phone lasted about four years and by today's standards it's a complete joke, large and clunky, non-foldable, no internet access, not even able to be carried in a pocket.  I had that phone until I visited a buddy of mine (who had recently traded in his phone) who told me that my old phone was an embarrassment, a visual testament to my archaic mindset and technophobic worldview and that such a phone would definitely not help me impress chicks (please note this was many years ago when I was in my "impress chicks" life stage).  I tried to explain that I'm not a technophobe, but I'm just not like a most folks who are like a kitten with a piece of shiny ribbon around new technology.  And this was in 2001, I think the problem has only gotten 7,000% worse since then. 

So my buddy gave me his old phone (which by that point was already a few years old and indeed by current technology standards OLD), I took it in a had it switched over to my phone number and it became my phone for seven or eight years.  And it worked just fine.  Sure people made fun of me for having such an old cell phone, and people whose opinions I didn't value made sure to express their opinions on the antique-ness of my cell phone, but I cared not.  And all was fine and dandy in the world, and I would have been happy to use that phone for the next two decades.  Then one day it stopped working.  And I mean stopped working, completely. It wouldn't turn on or anything, it was dead.

So I hauled my dead phone into the (Insert Phone Store name here) store.  The first thing the kid working there says is "Holy smokes, a Startac 8600!!, I haven't seen one of these in years!!"  I tried to explain that yes indeed I had owned this phone for quite some time, but I really wanted to try to transfer my information from this old phone onto a fancy new one.  The kid handled the phone almost reverentially, like it was a museum artifact, and took it to the back room where after repeated attempts to revive it, it was declared officially dead.  It would go Davey Jones Cell Phone Locker with its secrets (all my contacts) still resting on its fried little memory chip.  My new cell phone is now starting to exhibit some end-of-life signs, sluggish performance, buttons not responding, etc. and it's probably only a matter of time 'til it needs to be replaced as well.  Was it only made to last three or four years?  It sure seems that way.

Thanks for bearing with me through this prolonged rant.  Anyways, the bottom line is we're stuck with no pictures for a little while here on Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes, until we can get this camera up and running or bite the bullet and go out and buy a new one.  I'm sure the new one will last three to four years before it starts to break down, and then the cycle can repeat itself.  Caveat emptor.

Holiday Newsletter

For those who may not have been on the mailing list, and for everyone else on the World Wide Interwebs, Welcome to the Cummings/Chappell Environmentally Friendly Family Newsletter – 2011 Edition!!! 

You’ve been good all year, and I’ve been watching.  You’ve been kind to small children and animals, haven’t played your music too loud, and eaten all your vegetebles.  As such you are hereby bestowed with the greatest Holiday blessing I can give you – the fourth edition of the Cummings/Chappell Family Newsletter.  We’ve listened to our customer feedback from previous years and included more pictures of Alycia and the dogs, fewer pictures of John, and less of John’s tedious writing.  

2011 was a wonderful year in North Dakota filled with gluten free cookies, furry canine companions and their antics, fresh garden tomatoes, and strolls along the Red River of the North.  Here are some highlights!!!  

Our garden continues to expand and we added another raised bed, a compost bin, and some additional fruit trees.  And in a spirit of addition by subtraction, we removed the unruly stand of lilac bushes and gained significant acreage in the front and back yard.  Since lawn mowing is a much maligned chore in the household, John has begun discretely (yes John can occasionally do things discretely) converting small areas of the yard to annual and perennial beds, slowly so as not to alarm the local neighborhood watch who already has the household on the “suspicious” list due to their California lineage, distinct lack of FOX News Rocks!! or I ♥ Karl Rove bumper stickers, non-truck ownership, and otherwise admittedly odd habits.  

John spent the year fine tuning his Tater Tot Casserole recipe, writing on the world famous Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes blog, planting more apple trees and currant shrubs, wearing plaid shorts and sandals about town (see above paragraph on public perception of “odd habits”), and quietly enjoying bird watching as much as Alycia.  John was thrilled in March when the basketball team he plays on won their division in the 2011 Grand Forks Grand Am Basketball Tournament. Though he didn’t win any individual accolades or a coveted purple ribbon, he contributed greatly to the team effort (in his own special way) and was voted by his teammates as “Most Likely to Foul Out of a Game” which was deemed by all to be a great honor.  And despite the fact that summer is by far the most pleasant season in North Dakota, John spent much of the summer travelling back and forth from San Diego to continue his consulting practice.  

Tito turned 11 years old this year and celebrated a decade as Alycia’s dog and half a decade as John’s step-dog.  In his old age he has decided he no longer wishes to be burdened with the arduous task of walking up stairs.  He plays the “I’m an old man” card, makes a sad sack Tito face and Alycia carries him up stairs every night before bed.  Even though he claims to be an old and infirm dog, he still manages to occasionally play with Shaak Ti and Shadowfax and is strangely remarkably spry when there are treats or leftover bits of Thanksgiving turkey to be handed out (picture below on the right).  And since he never wanders more than a foot away from the Tasty Treat Triangle (aka Alycia’s Dad, the outside barbecue, and the kitchen), he has gained free roaming and off leash status anytime he visits the Cavalier estate.

 

Shaak Ti turned 5 this year and continues to take daily informal singing lessons, preferably prior to her early morning walk. She has happily embraced the role of big sister to Shadowfax by teaching her invaluable life skills like thrashing on her back and making bizarre groaning sounds (though since they’re both deaf, we’re not sure how these skills are passed along).  Even though she’s now the middle child, Shaak Ti enjoys the company of her big little sister and the two play and wrestle daily.  Shaak Ti also continues to operate as the household’s fuzzy alarm clock, making sure to awaken the entire household at 5:30 am.  

The photos below are after an epic Spring muddy-buddy marathon race through the back yard with Shadowfax, and posing with Alycia’s Dad for family picture day.   

It was our first full year with our new puppy Shadowfax.  Alycia and Shadowfax spent much time at obedience classes and now (with proper motivation) they can both sit, lay down, stay, play dead, roll over, come, walk nicely on a leash, crawl, down stay, leave it, and fetch.  Alycia continues to hone her “fetch” playing skills with Shadowfax, the most recent fiasco involving the puppy’s lacrosse ball hitting the gutter downspout, flying out of the fence, and ending up two houses down across the street in the alley. Shadowfax is a frequent visitor to doggy day care, and the legions of eviscerated toys will attest to the need to have her expend energy outside the household.  She is by far the best trained and most well behaved of the three pooches, and once she outgrows the puppy spazz phase, she’ll easily be a model citizen. 

Our basement visitor suite was completed in early 2011 and we celebrated by hosting visitors including: Alycia’s sister and fiancé from England, Alycia’s parents from Cavalier, North Dakota, most of John’s family from San Diego, and Alycia’s college chum from Los Angeles.  The pictures below are John’s family (dad, sister, brother-in-law, and in the carriage, our nephew, Jacob) out for a stroll at Turtle River State Park just west of Grand Forks and John and Alycia at their friends’ wedding in Portland, Oregon in September.  

We wish you the happiest of Holiday seasons and a productive and fruitful New Year.  May your pantry and deep freeze (we know you all have one) overflow with the bounty of the past summers’ harvest, and may the happiness of the season leave big stains of Holiday spirit all over your reindeer sweaters.  Thank you to all of our family and friends, near and far, four legged and two legged who make our lives brighter.  We love and cherish you all.  Our last picture is of Alycia, Tito, Shaak Ti, and Shadowfax.  John was again out of town when they had the picture sitting so don’t freak out that the whole family isn’t in the picture.  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to Everyone!!!