Dancing with the Devil

Every so often I get the inkling to live life on the edge, throw caution in the wind, and invite the devil onto the dance floor for a spin.  What craziness am I engaging in?  Skydiving? Raw cantaloupe consumption? Sledding naked down a pile of semi-fermented sugar beets?  Nah, I just try and take a picture of Tito. 

Tito is not camera friendly.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  Even without the flash (which seems to be the target of his furry fury), taking his picture turns him into a snarling, angry beastie.  He's charged at the camera pretty much every time I've ever tried to take his picture.  But every other blue moon, when he's in a good mood, he'll let you snap one picture, maybe two, then his patience wears out and he tries to forcibly remove your hand at the wrist.  This is why you never see very many pictures of Tito here on the fabulous Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes blog, it's just too dangerous of an endeavor to try to take his picture.

As I said though, every so often I get the urge to live life to its fullest and try to take his picture, and the other day I tried while he was sleeping. 

Success!!  A picture of Tito.  But don't let the cuteness fool you, he's a stone cold killer.

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Scandalous Sweater Pictures

Our mischievous little puppy Shadowfax has grown quite a bit in the past year.  How do I know?  The awesome lime green sweater she wore most of last winter (see New Green Sweater) is now quite snug on her.  What used to reach all the way to her furry doggy bottom now barely covers most of her back.

This is the sweater last winter, when Shadowfax was still a puppy.  It was a very conservative garment, reaching all the way to the base of her tail.  As an overprotective father, I approved of her wearing an outfit like this out of the house.

That sweater used to cover up everything.  A lot has happened since then, mostly our little puppy grew up and filled out.  Now?

As you can see it's pretty scandalous - it's like a tight tube top with exposed midriff and doggy decolletage, not what my little girl should be wearing. 

 

I think even the puppy herself realizes the scandalous nature of her outfit.  Alycia might let her go to school or doggy camp dressed like this, but I certainly don't approve.  I think it's time for a new (and larger) sweater. 

Negative Monday Morning

No we're not in a bad mood, but we are negative.  Negative in temperature.  The official temperature on our fancy digital thermometer (the Weather Direct Wireless Forecaster) was -0.4 degrees this morning, our first official negative temperature of the year.  And I will bet you every penny I have (Full Disclosure - I don't have many) that it won't be the last, or the lowest.  Any takers on that bet? 

The Weather Direct Wireless Forecaster was a birthday gift from Alycia last year and is pretty dang cool.  I love watching the weather, checking Doppler radar, and anticipating the forecast for the future, so a digital thermometer and weather forecaster was right up my alley.  We have the traditional round plastic thermometer hanging from a tree in the back yard, but it always seems to be off by about 10 degrees.  I think the tree trunk obscures air from getting to the sensor or something.  The fancy digital thermometer uses a sensor mounted on the North side of the house, just under the eaves, and seems to be pretty precise. 

Garden Gnome Hibernation

The first day of December marks the true shift into Holiday mode.  The last bits of stuffing and pie are gone, Christmas lists are drafted, and lights start to adorn the neighborhood.  December 1st also marks the traditional day of Garden Gnome Hibernation.  It's been pretty chilly lately, though nothing unseasonably cold, just normal late Fall temperatures, and the garden gnomes have been getting chilly at night.

Frederick the Gnome has snuggled in a bed of leaves up to his beard to keep warm at night.  As you may already know, garden gnome culture dictates that all gnomes have a huge end of season shindig before heading to their winter hibernation cave (the cardboard box we put them in and store in the garage).  The party can get pretty raucous since it's their last opportunity for merriment before the long winter. 

Franklin the Gnome was groggy and laying face first in a bed of leaves when I showed up this morning with the hibernation box.  He had few too many the night before and was sleeping it off in the fallen leaves. 

Furkel the Gnome took one last fertilizing good luck poop in the garden and it was nap time for the season.  See you in Spring garden gnomes. 

When Bulls Poop

We recently added Bevo the Bull to our collection of dog toys.  As with any animal newcomer to the household, there's always the possibility of an accident or two.  Puppy was pretty good and has only had a handful of accidents in the year we've had her, and in her defense we were equally culpable in not knowing her routine and getting her some outside business time. 

Bevo the Bull was only here for a few days and he had an accident.  All over the floor.  It was a mess. 

Here's a closer view.  It was a pretty big mess, all over the carpet.  And please note that this wasn't staged for the camera, this was the scene exactly as it happened.  We strive for absolute truth in reporting here at Deaf Dogs and Benevolent Gnomes. 

OK, I realize that since it's not a live animal that he didn't actually poop in the floor, but it sure looks like he did.  The more disturbing aspect of this is it isn't the first time that a large stuffed animal has developed an immediate crotch hole.  Do the toys have a structural deficiency in the crotch area?  Or do our dogs just immediately attack the crotch?  The jury is still out. 

Thanksgiving Pictures

We spent Thanksgiving with Alycia's family up in the countryside of Cavalier, North Dakota.  As always, there was a fantastic collection of delicious Thanksgiving treats. The pie lineup alone was impressive.

Pumpkin, pumpkin, cherry, pecan, mini-pumpkin, apple.  I made their acquaintance later that day and they seemed quite content to make my acquaintance as well. 

We've got a picture like this from every dinner we've had at the Cavalier Estate.  After dinner for people is snacks for dogs time.  Previously mischievous pups suddenly remember their manners and recall how to sit nicely when there are gooey bits of warm turkey to be handed out.

Tito the four legged pre-wash cycle helps out by cleaning off a dinner plate.

Black Friday Woe

The orgy of gluttonous consumption that is Black Friday is pretty repellant to me.  People standing in line for hours to pay money they don't have for things they don't really need seems wrong on so many levels.  Big box stores opening up on midnight and making their employees (employees they obviously consider expendable cogs in the machine) work on Thanksgiving Day seems cruel.  The all encompassing media advertising blitz for the days leading up to Black Friday just becomes nauseating in its repetition and intensity. 

All this seems like like a microcosm of the many of the woes of our society: the glorification of shopping and spending, the promotion of the idea that buying stuff and spending money will make you happy/loved/appreciated/accomplished, the insatiable yearning for the next disposable electronic gadget, the over-saturation of advertising into every aspect of life, and the indoctrination of younger and younger people into the cult of spending.  It all just seems like such a waste.

Flickr Photo Credit

It wasn't that long ago, just a few years, that I heard happy Black Friday stories.  Groups of friends or family going to a few stores at 5:00 am for some early Christmas shopping, then spending hours over coffee and breakfast at the local diner swapping gossip and catching up.  The talk and the focus was on people and camaraderie and Holiday sweaters, not the sanctification of gladiatorial combat shopping. I don't hear the happy anecdotal Black Friday stories anymore, just tales of people pushing others down, fighting in stores over stuff, and overspending. 

How was Black Friday 2011?  This article titled Violence, pepper spray mars Black Friday shopping should give you a clue.  Is this media sensationalism of a few minor incidents?  Absolutely.  Should we avoid generalizing based on a few isolated incidents?  Probably.  Is it disgusting that a woman pepper sprayed 20 people so she could gain an advantage on buying a Nintendo?  Yup.  Does it say a lot about us that people broke into and looted a store because they were angry it didn't open right at midnight, as advertised?  I think so.  Am I saying that capitalism is wrong and evil?  Nope, not at all.  

I'm not trying to claim that I'm holier than thou or attempting to convert anyone.  I buy stuff.  I go to malls (rarely).  I have a television.  But over the last decade I've tried to give more Christmas presents that I made.  Homemade jam or applesauce, candy from the local chocolate shop, items bought at local craft fairs, tins of homemade cookies and fudge, used books.  Contrary to the messages in advertising, NOT spending money has actually made me happier.  Much happier.

Flickr Photo Credit

Beyond the Turducken

When I was back in Southern California I heard about a magical creature called a turducken.  It's like the griffin/unicorn/centaur of holiday meat.  They've become popular and trendy in recent years, and if you haven't heard about it, or had the pleasure of eating one, it's simply a turkey with a chicken and a duck layered and stuffed inside each other, all deboned and each stuffed with a different style of stuffing.  I thought I would never be able to embrace more than the theory of the turducken when I discovered that the old-school butcher shop near where I lived (Iowa Meat Farms) in San Diego made turduckens for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I had one for a few Thanksgivings and it quickly became a holiday tradition for me.  So when I met Alycia, and her parents came out for Thanksgiving, I thought it would be a good way to introduce them to the fantastical world of mixed martial meats.  Her parents were initially skeptical but quickly embraced the idea once they had the opportunity to taste the delicious carnival of meat that is the turducken.

The Quaducant - Photo from http://www.delish.com/food/recalls-reviews/better-than-the-turducken

It was with great delight that I read an article Alycia's Mom, Mama Bear, forwarded me called Beyond the Turducken: Five Birds That Will Blow Your Mind.  It's a short article, and well worth it to learn about the Turbaconducken (turducken wrapped in bacon) and the True love Roast:

This True Love Roast from chef Phillip Corrick and creator Devon farmer Anne Petch can feed up to 125 people, took eight hours to prepare, is over 50,000 calories, and was stuffed with...are you sitting down...ready? Goose, Barbary duck, Guinea fowl, Mallard, Poussin, Quail, Partridge, Pigeon squab, Pheasant, Chicken, and finally, an Aylesbury duck.

Yay for extreme meat, and super thanks to Mama Bear for passing along this article.  Happy Thanksgiving to all and may your meal (meat or not) be tasty and delicious!