After a bit of perusing the magical Internets, I found some additional fascinating (and hilarious) information about the KFC Buckets For the Cure campaign against breast cancer that I wrote about the other day. I read a subversive article that directed me to read the teeny tiny print at the bottom of the Buckets For the Cure website, which reads:
"KFC restaurant operators have contributed 50 cents to the Susan G Komen For the Cure for each Komen branded bucket purchased by the operators from April 5, 2010 - May 9, 2010. Guaranteed minimum contribution is $1,000,000. Customer purchases of KFC buckets during the promotion will not directly increase the total contribution."
Reread that last sentence again. Go ahead, I'll wait. Got it? Are you outraged? Mildly annoyed? Bored?
So all the money is coming from KFC franchise operators, not from you, loyal fried chicken purchaser, despite what you see in the Tellyvision commercial. What if your local franchise doesn't participate (unlikely since I'm sure participation is required by KFC central command)? How will you help fight against breast cancer?
So not only is this campaign ignorant of the undisputed fried chicken-obesity-breast cancer link and a complete sell out by the Susan Komen people, but it is disingenuous, misleading, and completely false. No matter how many buckets of friend chicken you buy, it doesn't matter since a portion of your purchase WILL NOT go directly to the Susan Komen folks. What a fantastic campaign.
You can read the legal gibberish for yourself (at the very bottom of the page) from their website.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A Few Spring Firsts
Spring has fully arrived here in North Dakota, earlier than just about anyone can remember. Typically April involves some snow or last gasps of winter weather, but not this year. There have been numerous days in the 60's and 70's and no snow or even much rain. Climate change liberal wackos will probably cite this as an example of climate change happening, but everyone knows that it is simply the will of Lord that all us good Christian soldiers should have an early spring.
I've been taking advantage of the good weather and doing outside chores, riding my bike, being blasphemous, and getting the garden ready for action, and it's been lovely especially since there weren't any mosquitoes out. At least until Monday there weren't. Yes, Monday I got my first mosquito bite of the season, and I can guarantee it won't be the last.
Late last aumtumn I added another "never seen that before" to my lifelong list - a fat guy walking his dog with his car. Yup, idling along through the park, arm out the window holding the leash so his dog could walk. You know you're fat and lazy when you can't even walk your dog. I thought that was the end of it, until I saw another car doing it a few weeks later. I spent all winter basking in ignorance thinking I had seen the pinnacle of vehicular/canine walking utilization. Until yesterday.
Yesterday I saw a guy walking his dog with.....wait for it.....can you guess.....walking his dog with his motorcycle. Yup, happened right out in front of my house as I was walking Shaak Ti (with my feet). This time it didn't involve a leash, just another lazy (though less fat) guy idling up the street, and frequently doubling back in circles, all the while yelling at his dog. "SPARKY!!!!" "COME ON SPARKY, LET'S GO!!!", "SPARKY!!!", and so on and so forth. Sparky was having the time of his life, running around, peeing on shrubbery, and sniffing anything he deemed needed sniffing, ignoring his owners yelling. "SPARKY!!!!" "COME ON SPARKY, LET'S GO!!!", "SPARKY!!!" continued as I walked away down the street, shaking my head in disgust. I still can't quite grasp the magnitude of what I saw, though all these events help me to realize "man at least I'm not that lazy".
We're supposed to get some thunderstorms tonight and tomorrow. I await their arrival with great anticipation.
I've been taking advantage of the good weather and doing outside chores, riding my bike, being blasphemous, and getting the garden ready for action, and it's been lovely especially since there weren't any mosquitoes out. At least until Monday there weren't. Yes, Monday I got my first mosquito bite of the season, and I can guarantee it won't be the last.
Late last aumtumn I added another "never seen that before" to my lifelong list - a fat guy walking his dog with his car. Yup, idling along through the park, arm out the window holding the leash so his dog could walk. You know you're fat and lazy when you can't even walk your dog. I thought that was the end of it, until I saw another car doing it a few weeks later. I spent all winter basking in ignorance thinking I had seen the pinnacle of vehicular/canine walking utilization. Until yesterday.
Yesterday I saw a guy walking his dog with.....wait for it.....can you guess.....walking his dog with his motorcycle. Yup, happened right out in front of my house as I was walking Shaak Ti (with my feet). This time it didn't involve a leash, just another lazy (though less fat) guy idling up the street, and frequently doubling back in circles, all the while yelling at his dog. "SPARKY!!!!" "COME ON SPARKY, LET'S GO!!!", "SPARKY!!!", and so on and so forth. Sparky was having the time of his life, running around, peeing on shrubbery, and sniffing anything he deemed needed sniffing, ignoring his owners yelling. "SPARKY!!!!" "COME ON SPARKY, LET'S GO!!!", "SPARKY!!!" continued as I walked away down the street, shaking my head in disgust. I still can't quite grasp the magnitude of what I saw, though all these events help me to realize "man at least I'm not that lazy".
We're supposed to get some thunderstorms tonight and tomorrow. I await their arrival with great anticipation.
Friday, April 23, 2010
More Breast Cancer Nonsense
In what has now become an annual tradition (here's last years crazy rant), I get to call out the dumbest "Pink Ribbon" campaign to help defeat breast cancer. In case you haven't already seen the advertisement, click on the YouTube video below.
Buckets For the Cure
I'm no doctor. I don't know all the causes of breast cancer. But if I was forced to categorize various items that I thought probably had strong correlations to causing breast cancer, eating a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken would be pretty high on the list. I'm pretty sure most medical professionals would agree that obesity is one of the prime contributing factors to breast cancer, and last time I looked fried chicken certainly helped contribute to obesity.
Yes the contribution of up to $1 million from KFC (part of the Yum brands corporation) is a nice gesture, and will help the fight against breast cancer. But Yum brands had revenues of $10.8 billion dollars last year (see financial info here), so not only is $1million a pretty paltry amount, but the method in which they're giving the money ($.50) per bucket of chicken is the ultimate sleazy marketing campaign.
And special congratulations to the Susan G Komen folks for completing the ultimate sell out and agreeing to have their name and pink ribbon logo on buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Congratulations to everyone involved for cheapening and commercializing the fight against breast cancer.
Buckets For the Cure
I'm no doctor. I don't know all the causes of breast cancer. But if I was forced to categorize various items that I thought probably had strong correlations to causing breast cancer, eating a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken would be pretty high on the list. I'm pretty sure most medical professionals would agree that obesity is one of the prime contributing factors to breast cancer, and last time I looked fried chicken certainly helped contribute to obesity.
Yes the contribution of up to $1 million from KFC (part of the Yum brands corporation) is a nice gesture, and will help the fight against breast cancer. But Yum brands had revenues of $10.8 billion dollars last year (see financial info here), so not only is $1million a pretty paltry amount, but the method in which they're giving the money ($.50) per bucket of chicken is the ultimate sleazy marketing campaign.
And special congratulations to the Susan G Komen folks for completing the ultimate sell out and agreeing to have their name and pink ribbon logo on buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Congratulations to everyone involved for cheapening and commercializing the fight against breast cancer.
Friday, April 9, 2010
High School Sports Update
Winter sports have pretty much wrapped up here in North Dakota, and it was a very exciting time. High school basketball and hockey (boys and girls) are pretty serious business around here and are on local television, and we got pretty excited as Alycia's alma mater, the mighty Cavalier Tornadoes, placed third in the state tournament.
Here's a story from the Grand Forks Herald this morning about another high school sports team from just over the river in East Grand Forks. (Here's the link - Grand Forks Herald Story, but the story is posted in full below). You may read this article and question why ice fishing is a high school sport, and I'd probably agree with you. Ice fishing typically involves sitting on a bucket on a frozen lake and fishing. Fishing for fish. In my mind this is no more of a sport than having a bowel movement (which without proper fiber intake could be considered a strenuous activity), but who am I to judge?
From the Grand Forks Herald - April 9, 2010 by long time columnist Marilyn Hagerty, a lovely writer who's been working for the newspaper for a long time.
"Sometimes, I think he makes this stuff up. But every couple of years, I hear from Pat Hurley, a science teacher at East Grand Forks Senior High. He seems to be the coach of the ice-fishing team, which may be a figment of his imagination.
He says the team finished fourth in state this year and they are looking forward to next year.
Here’s his story. Team members are Bron Morrison, Brock Smith, Tom Driscoll and Jordan Kloety. They developed their skills through many early morning practice sessions on the ice of the Red Lake River. They took part in high-school-only tournaments at Zippel Bay, Pine Island and Rocky Point regions of Lake of the Woods. They also fished at Sugar Lake and Devils Lake. And they placed first in a tournament at Red Lake.
Their successful season led them to a fourth-place seed in the Minnesota state tournament near Brainerd. This was the highest seed they ever have taken to the state tournament. And Hurley says it is important to seed in the top four because the top seed gets a five-minute head start onto the lake.
Once the top four teams start setting up, other teams head out onto the lake. They cannot be within 100 feet of any other team. The East Siders got an excellent location on a rock reef and caught 41 pounds of walleye over the two-day tournament."
Here's a story from the Grand Forks Herald this morning about another high school sports team from just over the river in East Grand Forks. (Here's the link - Grand Forks Herald Story, but the story is posted in full below). You may read this article and question why ice fishing is a high school sport, and I'd probably agree with you. Ice fishing typically involves sitting on a bucket on a frozen lake and fishing. Fishing for fish. In my mind this is no more of a sport than having a bowel movement (which without proper fiber intake could be considered a strenuous activity), but who am I to judge?
From the Grand Forks Herald - April 9, 2010 by long time columnist Marilyn Hagerty, a lovely writer who's been working for the newspaper for a long time.
"Sometimes, I think he makes this stuff up. But every couple of years, I hear from Pat Hurley, a science teacher at East Grand Forks Senior High. He seems to be the coach of the ice-fishing team, which may be a figment of his imagination.
He says the team finished fourth in state this year and they are looking forward to next year.
Here’s his story. Team members are Bron Morrison, Brock Smith, Tom Driscoll and Jordan Kloety. They developed their skills through many early morning practice sessions on the ice of the Red Lake River. They took part in high-school-only tournaments at Zippel Bay, Pine Island and Rocky Point regions of Lake of the Woods. They also fished at Sugar Lake and Devils Lake. And they placed first in a tournament at Red Lake.
Their successful season led them to a fourth-place seed in the Minnesota state tournament near Brainerd. This was the highest seed they ever have taken to the state tournament. And Hurley says it is important to seed in the top four because the top seed gets a five-minute head start onto the lake.
Once the top four teams start setting up, other teams head out onto the lake. They cannot be within 100 feet of any other team. The East Siders got an excellent location on a rock reef and caught 41 pounds of walleye over the two-day tournament."
A Long Break
Howdy Faithful Readers.
Yeah, it's been a long, long time since my last post. I've been doing some work and preparing tax returns (ugggh....multi-state returns) the last few weeks, and haven't really had the time or felt the inspiration for a blog post. Much has happened during that time: flood waters have risen and receded, spring has slowly begun in the Upper Plains, winter has been given the bums rush out the door (hopefully), and the UND Fighting Sioux nickname and logo has officially been retired.
Instead of apologizing profusely for the gap between postings, I'll just pretend that it never happened and get right back into fun stories about North Dakota and the family unit.
I'll try to catch up in the next few days, show some flood pictures from the rising river. Don't worry, we didn't get flooded or have any water issues here at the house. We've been high and dry and will remain that way unless there's a cataclysmic/apocalyptic flood one year. That shouldn't happen. Now let me go track down my camera so I can post some pictures.
Yeah, it's been a long, long time since my last post. I've been doing some work and preparing tax returns (ugggh....multi-state returns) the last few weeks, and haven't really had the time or felt the inspiration for a blog post. Much has happened during that time: flood waters have risen and receded, spring has slowly begun in the Upper Plains, winter has been given the bums rush out the door (hopefully), and the UND Fighting Sioux nickname and logo has officially been retired.
Instead of apologizing profusely for the gap between postings, I'll just pretend that it never happened and get right back into fun stories about North Dakota and the family unit.
I'll try to catch up in the next few days, show some flood pictures from the rising river. Don't worry, we didn't get flooded or have any water issues here at the house. We've been high and dry and will remain that way unless there's a cataclysmic/apocalyptic flood one year. That shouldn't happen. Now let me go track down my camera so I can post some pictures.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Haircut and an Assault Rifle
I went to get a haircut today in anticipation of some work related matters. Not work of the "from the couch with laptop" variety but "in front of an actual client" variety. As such it seemed like a good idea to get one last haircut to trim things up a bit and give an appearance of professionalism. OK, Alycia told me I was too hairy and should go get a haircut.
Now a brief bit of backstory. This will all make sense in a minute, bear with me.
Back in Springfield, Massachusetts I used to visit a barbershop in downtown with a distinctly ethnic Italian-American cohort of employees. One day I listened as my barber explained what he would do to the slightly dark skinned gentleman (he looked Puerto Rican or Cuban to me) who walked in the door accompanied by his white girlfriend. He muttered what he would like to do to this gentleman as he was shaving behind my ear and around my neck with a straight razor. The activities he spoke of weren't enjoyable sounding and were laced with many unkind racial epithets. This made me uncomfortable (the word uncomfortable actually doesn't adequately describe my terror, though I feel like I remained calm) since he was holding a straight razor inches from my jugular. I never visited that barber shop again. I read a few weeks later in the newspaper that my now-former barber and a friend had been arrested on racketeering, loansharking, and other unsavory charges. It turns out that this place was an organized crime front, a fact well known to local townsfolk, but oblivious to me, a newcomer.
I once played pool (I was in a pool league for a while) in a unhygienic/scary run-down strip club in what was left of downtown New Britain, Connecticut, where the home court advantage was apparent since everyone on our team (the visiting team) was terrified of touching anything lest they contract leprosy, or worse. During the evening an enterprising young gentleman approached and tried to sell me a pair of sneakers and a package of raw chicken breasts for $20. It must have been a tough night for selling that combination of items as he stopped by on the way out the door and let me know the price had dropped to only $15. It was a great deal, but unfortunately I didn't think the sneakers were my size.
I relate these two seemingly unrelated stories because they are 1) the most unusual hair cutting experience I've ever had and 2) the most unusual thing I've ever had someone try to sell to me. Though neither one of these stories will ever be topped, luckily I can now combine these concepts together into a new and fascinating story 3) the most unusual thing anyone has ever tried to sell me while getting a haircut.
Back to my haircut yesterday..... Just as I sat down in the barber chair a truck pulled up and a uniformed (he was headed to his job with the border patrol) dude hopped out, pulled a long cardboard box from the truck and proceeded inside. Though the barber knew who this was, he still made a "I wonder what's in the box?" comment, to which I replied (with what I thought was a funny joke) "I don't think those are flowers for you in the box". He didn't laugh, though I thought I was being quite funny.
The long flat box contained a beautiful, shiny black semi-automatic assault rifle, near new condition, "I've only run 2 magazines through it" the guy said. The weapon was an AR-180 (I think I remember this correctly) but could also be called an AR180 or an AR-180B, there seemed to be some discussion about this point. The barber wanted to know the exact model number so he could discuss with his gun compatriots and confirm that he was getting a good deal.
After much discussion, fondling of the rifle, and observation of various accessories that could be attached to it in various places, price was mentioned - $650. They agreed to meet over the weekend to complete their transaction and the dude in the truck with the rifle left. Aforementioned barber person was extremely excited about the new gun he was going to purchase, but now was faced with a dilemna - he had too many guns. I don't know if this was a wife-imposed or self-imposed gun quota, but with a new gun entering the picture, he had to sell one of his current guns (he mentioned having at least seven other rifles).
Naturally he had a captive audience (that would be me) to describe the gun he planned to sell. His segue was gentle - "so how do you feel about the AR-22's?" Uhhhh, they're good. He continued tactfully to try to sell me his now-extra assault rifle, until I explained I wasn't quite in the market for an AR-22, and we proceeded with the rest of the haircut uneventfully. I enjoy trips to the barber....
This has more bells and whistles, but is the same rifle I checked out yesterday. Alycia's birthday IS coming up.....don't tell her though, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Now a brief bit of backstory. This will all make sense in a minute, bear with me.
Back in Springfield, Massachusetts I used to visit a barbershop in downtown with a distinctly ethnic Italian-American cohort of employees. One day I listened as my barber explained what he would do to the slightly dark skinned gentleman (he looked Puerto Rican or Cuban to me) who walked in the door accompanied by his white girlfriend. He muttered what he would like to do to this gentleman as he was shaving behind my ear and around my neck with a straight razor. The activities he spoke of weren't enjoyable sounding and were laced with many unkind racial epithets. This made me uncomfortable (the word uncomfortable actually doesn't adequately describe my terror, though I feel like I remained calm) since he was holding a straight razor inches from my jugular. I never visited that barber shop again. I read a few weeks later in the newspaper that my now-former barber and a friend had been arrested on racketeering, loansharking, and other unsavory charges. It turns out that this place was an organized crime front, a fact well known to local townsfolk, but oblivious to me, a newcomer.
I once played pool (I was in a pool league for a while) in a unhygienic/scary run-down strip club in what was left of downtown New Britain, Connecticut, where the home court advantage was apparent since everyone on our team (the visiting team) was terrified of touching anything lest they contract leprosy, or worse. During the evening an enterprising young gentleman approached and tried to sell me a pair of sneakers and a package of raw chicken breasts for $20. It must have been a tough night for selling that combination of items as he stopped by on the way out the door and let me know the price had dropped to only $15. It was a great deal, but unfortunately I didn't think the sneakers were my size.
I relate these two seemingly unrelated stories because they are 1) the most unusual hair cutting experience I've ever had and 2) the most unusual thing I've ever had someone try to sell to me. Though neither one of these stories will ever be topped, luckily I can now combine these concepts together into a new and fascinating story 3) the most unusual thing anyone has ever tried to sell me while getting a haircut.
Back to my haircut yesterday..... Just as I sat down in the barber chair a truck pulled up and a uniformed (he was headed to his job with the border patrol) dude hopped out, pulled a long cardboard box from the truck and proceeded inside. Though the barber knew who this was, he still made a "I wonder what's in the box?" comment, to which I replied (with what I thought was a funny joke) "I don't think those are flowers for you in the box". He didn't laugh, though I thought I was being quite funny.
The long flat box contained a beautiful, shiny black semi-automatic assault rifle, near new condition, "I've only run 2 magazines through it" the guy said. The weapon was an AR-180 (I think I remember this correctly) but could also be called an AR180 or an AR-180B, there seemed to be some discussion about this point. The barber wanted to know the exact model number so he could discuss with his gun compatriots and confirm that he was getting a good deal.
After much discussion, fondling of the rifle, and observation of various accessories that could be attached to it in various places, price was mentioned - $650. They agreed to meet over the weekend to complete their transaction and the dude in the truck with the rifle left. Aforementioned barber person was extremely excited about the new gun he was going to purchase, but now was faced with a dilemna - he had too many guns. I don't know if this was a wife-imposed or self-imposed gun quota, but with a new gun entering the picture, he had to sell one of his current guns (he mentioned having at least seven other rifles).
Naturally he had a captive audience (that would be me) to describe the gun he planned to sell. His segue was gentle - "so how do you feel about the AR-22's?" Uhhhh, they're good. He continued tactfully to try to sell me his now-extra assault rifle, until I explained I wasn't quite in the market for an AR-22, and we proceeded with the rest of the haircut uneventfully. I enjoy trips to the barber....
Monday, March 8, 2010
Gray Skies and Slushy Sidewalks
We're on our third or fourth consecutive gray, dreary day here in North Dakota. It's not terrible by any means, and if nothing else the skies are a harbinger of change. An indicator that maybe winter is on its way out and Spring can be ushered in. March proverbially comes in like a lamb and leaves like a lion, and true to anecdotal form, many a snow storm or blizzard is remembered by locals occurring at the end of March around here.
For the past week, daytime temps have been hovering at or just above the freezing point, meaning that there is a slow melting/slushification process going on. The middle of the roads are pretty much clear of slush and ice, and the sidewalks are also starting to have ice-free patches on them, but it's still very wet with lots of puddles and standing water, and with rain or wet snow forecast for this week, it'll only stay damp.
Dog walks have become messy, muddy affairs. Shaak Ti's frenetic walking pace, exploratory temperament, and zest for life means a serious toweling off in the (appropriately named) mud room before she's let back in the house. And the snow and ice that melts (or slushifies) during the day refreezes overnight making for slippery conditions in the morning. The few small patches of still dormant grass are magical wonders for Shaak Ti and she spends plenty of time sniffing and exploring them as if to say "Ahhh, I remember what grass smells like and feels like to my puppy toes".
For the past week, daytime temps have been hovering at or just above the freezing point, meaning that there is a slow melting/slushification process going on. The middle of the roads are pretty much clear of slush and ice, and the sidewalks are also starting to have ice-free patches on them, but it's still very wet with lots of puddles and standing water, and with rain or wet snow forecast for this week, it'll only stay damp.
Dog walks have become messy, muddy affairs. Shaak Ti's frenetic walking pace, exploratory temperament, and zest for life means a serious toweling off in the (appropriately named) mud room before she's let back in the house. And the snow and ice that melts (or slushifies) during the day refreezes overnight making for slippery conditions in the morning. The few small patches of still dormant grass are magical wonders for Shaak Ti and she spends plenty of time sniffing and exploring them as if to say "Ahhh, I remember what grass smells like and feels like to my puppy toes".
Thursday, March 4, 2010
New Poll Question
It's been a while since out last poll questions, sorry about its absence. This new poll is actually a quiz. Each person that answers correctly will be entered into a drawing to win a fabulous prize, so take a moment to answer the question.
Our quiz question is about snow melt, specifically about the large amount of yellow snow in our backyard. It's another sunny day in the mid 20's and we're gonna see some more snow melt today. Next week has temps in the 30's!!! Not only that, but the lows are forecast to only be in the mid 20's. That's just craziness!!!
Our quiz question is about snow melt, specifically about the large amount of yellow snow in our backyard. It's another sunny day in the mid 20's and we're gonna see some more snow melt today. Next week has temps in the 30's!!! Not only that, but the lows are forecast to only be in the mid 20's. That's just craziness!!!
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