My attempt to move from Southern California and create a happy and sustainable urban homestead in North Dakota, with some musings on life with deaf dogs, a gluten free spouse, and the occasional mischievous garden gnome. Thank you for visiting and I hope you enjoy.



Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2012 Deaf Dog of the Year



It is a most exciting time of the year, voting is now open in our 2012 Deaf Dog of the Year Contest!!!  

As a small caveat, this is a reminder that this contest is inspired by one of my favorite blogs (Montana Wildlife Gardener) and his Cat of the Year post.  I admit every year that this is a blatant example of bloggo-theft, but his annual posts are always incredibly funny and were an inspiration to come up with a similar contest for our critters.

If you need to get caught up, you can read last years 2011 Deaf Dog of the Year post as well as the 2011 Deaf Dog of the Year Poll Results. Tito was the winner of the poll last year, and while he’s not technically ineligible to win again, I can’t bear the thought of him winning in back to back years.  He haughtily flaunted his win for most of the year, throwing it in my face every chance he got.  If I see that poll numbers are skewing for Tito, I’ll shut this whole thing down and never do it again rather than face a back-to-back Tito victory.  Seriously.  Consider this your “I’ll turn this car right around” moment, cause I will.

Voting is on the upper left part of the screen, and please feel free to leave a comment as to who you voted for and why.  Here are your three choices for 2012 Deaf Dog of the Year (presented in order of seniority):


Tito the Wonder Puppy (aliases - Tito, Toberto, Toe, Berto, Chubbs)
2012 Accomplishments – Had his 12th birthday.  Was pronounced to be in good health during a recent vet visit.  He was given a lifetime achievement award from the WBANA (Wild Bunny Association of North America) for consuming his one millionth piece of bunny poop.  Barely squeezed into his purple monkey Halloween costume that fit the year before. Despite being half her size, consistently plays a vicious game of tug-of-war with the puppy.

Flaws and Negative Press - His obsessive compulsive licking habit still keeps getting worse (walls, carpet, furniture, dog beds, self) and may lead to expensive dental work in the near future.  He frequently charges and snaps at the puppy for no good reason, like a fat furry Moray Eel darting out from a cave.  While playing he “herded” Shadowfax and nipped her hard enough to open up a gash that required stitches/vet visits/significant cash outlay.  Has decided that he doesn’t care if he takes your finger or hand along with the treat you’re trying to give him.  Continues to be severely situationally handicapped.  Situationally handicapped means the following: ham or turkey being removed from the oven = no limp and spry as a kitten, no food in the kitchen and no one paying Tito attention = Tito limps severely. 

Key Voting Demographics - the elderly, the angry, the ornery, people who like salt water taffy, former members of Menudo, grumpy old men who tell “back in my day…” stories, SCUBA enthusiasts, anyone who every bought a Ricky Martin or Marc Anthony album, gum chewers.   

Jedi Master Shaak Ti (aliases - Shaak Ti, R-Dog, Scoops, Squito Burrito)
Accomplishments – For the second consecutive year she required no vet visits from self inflicted trauma or crashes.  Stands constant vigil over the house from the upstairs window, ensuring that no intruders: human, dog, deer, or squirrel penetrate the outer defenses.  Successfully conquered the bed with heating pad inside and has claimed it as her own.  Sits and waits at her bed, demanding to be covered with a blanket or tucked in.  Considers herself a college bound educated dog after she got a new collar with John’s employer – Northland Technical and Community College on it.  Was inconsolable after her 3rd place finish in last year’s Deaf Dog of the Year contest (this may or may not have contributed to her eating disorder – see below).

Flaws and Negative Press – Is an extremely difficult patient during vet visits and requires two people to hold her even just to trim her toenails.  Stinky breath has gotten progressively worse.  May be anorexic since she only eats every second or third meal, and even then typically takes 20 minutes to eat a cup of kibble.  Still doesn't understand the concept of sleeping in past 5:30 am.  Crazy singing and off key "woo-wooing" are amazingly loud for a dog her size.  Is high maintenance and constantly demands pets, whines loudly when not petted or allowed into laps.  Has started mimicking Tito’s compulsive licking habit. 

Key Voting Demographics – high jumpers, donkey and burro owners, people who enjoy burritos, community college students, Princesses (real or imagined), professional/amateur yodelers, halitosis sufferers, people with food sensitivity issues. 

Shadowfax (aliases - Puppy, Puppytown, The Town, SweaterHead, ThrashyPants)
Accomplishments – Battled through two separate surgeries (see Puppy’s First Stitches) and four different rounds of antibiotics in 2012.  Actively loves Grandpa and Grandma and behaves pretty well on visits to their house.  Sleeps through the night much better than the other dogs and is happy and content in her crate (aka the Puppy Pod).  Guards the house and loudly notifies the family of any dog, person, horse, or bike within a 2 block radius by barking crazily.  Has the most regular and predictable outside elimination schedule.  

Flaws and Negative Press – Cost close to $1,000 in vet visits/surgeries/medication in 2012. Scares neighbors and visitors with her insane barking/screeching/howling.  Has not yet learned to play with a toy without destroying it, decimating the local lacrosse ball population.  Actively loves Grandpa and Grandma so much that she forgets her training and jumps on them in an attempt to give them kisses.  Destroyed her pink plastic kiddie pool this Summer.  May be a doggie racist as she strongly dislikes all dark colored dogs.  Broke more than one of Grandma’s necklaces while jumping up on her to give her kisses.  Due to her wiggling, kissing, and jumping on the vet, she had to be sedated for procedures that might have been completed without anesthesia (and cost much less) if she wasn’t such a spaz. 

Key Voting Demographics - young voters, opponents of BSL, geologists, winter sports enthusiasts, lacrosse players, people who enjoy all you can eat buffets, veterinarians, people who like go-karts, jewelry repair store owners.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a donkey owner (my son claims jackass) and a lover of burritos at El Cuervo, I have no choice. Actually, at times, seems to like me and not scared to death of robotic approach to petting.

Karen said...

Ah, the Annual Contest for Deaf Dog of the Year! I wouldn't miss it for the world.

I am voting for Shadowfax. I had no idea Tito was such a sore winner, shame on him! No need to turn the car around, I'm voting for the youngster this time.

Shadowfax had a very hard year with her surgeries and having to wear a doggie cone, but she seemed so happy about the whole ordeal. She stole my heart with the pink plastic swimming pool incident.

Shaak Ti comes in a close second, though. Being the middle child, she probably gets lost in the shuffle sometimes. I really admire her dedication to guarding your home and for demanding superior sleeping accomodations.

So, my vote is for Shadowfax seeing as I fit the demographics of being a person who enjoys all you can eat buffets with the accompanying winter sports enthusiasm.

P.S. What is it with the licking? My 12 year old grumpy dog, Teddy, is incessant with it too. His sister, Pudding, looks on his habit disdainfully and turns her back on him in a ladylike fashion.

gardenwalkgardentalk.com said...

I too am voting for Shadowfax, but honestly it is a hard choice. They all have special qualities that make them very lovable.

test said...

Shaak Ti has my vote. Manning the defenses is a big job.

But I have to say Shadowfax and the pink pool video was great, dogs and objects twice their size...

Hi from Joel of Quarry garden stained glass fame

El Gaucho said...

Karen - Yes Shaak Ti and I can relate, both being the middle child, that's why I not so conspicuously root for her.

As far as the compulsive licking thing, not sure. Tito has always been kind of twitchy/flighty/OCD and has always done this. It's just gotten much worse over the last year or two, he's constantly doing it and there's no medical reason behind it, the vet says he's fine. It's just all in his head (he's a weird little dog and it kind of sounds like Teddy might be cut from the same cloth). Maybe it's s doggie generational thing...12 year old grumpy pooches and their crazy licking.

Gardenwalk - Thanks for the vote!!

Joel - Welcome. I've read about your various gardening exploits through the blog for years now, so I feel like I already know you. I'm not sure I've seen many dogs that were happier than when Shadowfax was destroying her pool. I guess there's nothing like the unmitigated joy of destruction!

Andy said...

I post this only as the opening salvo for a Tito 3-peat. (i'm from upstate NY; ask me about the health and youth of the mayors elected in the early '90s from Albany). Tito must win! Consider the hyperpolarized, Gerrymandered Congress we've just elected, and cast no blame on the messenger, oh site and poll guru...

Andy said...

And yes, the Albany politcal machine is partiallly responsible for the Tito edge in polling-- but only partially. The rest is the voice of the people!

El Gaucho said...


Andy - I'm very disappointed in you. To denigrate a sacred institution such as the Deaf Dog of the Year contest with your Tammany Hall-esque brand of corrupt East Coast politicking is contemptible. From henceforth you shall be referred to as Boss Tweed, or maybe Boss Hogg, I haven't decided yet.

And fear not gentle readers, the Federal Elections Commission and the FBI have both been contacted about this matter. We shall return honor and righteousness to this fine blog once again.

Lindsay D said...

We sense a fix may be in for the ever famous Tito, so just to even things up a bit, we're voting for the middle child, avoiding any unnecessary trips ot the vet is better than her human parents manage most years!