Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2012 Deaf Dog of the Year
It is a most exciting time of the year, voting is now open in our 2012 Deaf Dog of the Year Contest!!!
As a small caveat, this is a reminder that this contest is inspired by one of my favorite blogs (Montana Wildlife Gardener) and his Cat of the Year post. I admit every year that this is a blatant example of bloggo-theft, but his annual posts are always incredibly funny and were an inspiration to come up with a similar contest for our critters.
If you need to get caught up, you can read last years 2011 Deaf Dog of the Year post as well as the 2011 Deaf Dog of the Year Poll Results. Tito was the winner of the poll last year, and while he’s not technically ineligible to win again, I can’t bear the thought of him winning in back to back years. He haughtily flaunted his win for most of the year, throwing it in my face every chance he got. If I see that poll numbers are skewing for Tito, I’ll shut this whole thing down and never do it again rather than face a back-to-back Tito victory. Seriously. Consider this your “I’ll turn this car right around” moment, cause I will.
Voting is on the upper left part of the screen, and please feel free to leave a comment as to who you voted for and why. Here are your three choices for 2012 Deaf Dog of the Year (presented in order of seniority):
Tito the Wonder Puppy (aliases - Tito, Toberto, Toe, Berto, Chubbs)
Was pronounced to be in good health during a recent vet visit. He was given a lifetime achievement award from the WBANA (Wild Bunny Association of North America) for consuming his one millionth piece of bunny poop. Barely squeezed into his purple monkey Halloween costume that fit the year before. Despite being half her size, consistently plays a vicious game of tug-of-war with the puppy.
Flaws and Negative Press - His obsessive compulsive licking habit still keeps getting worse (walls, carpet, furniture, dog beds, self) and may lead to expensive dental work in the near future. He frequently charges and snaps at the puppy for no good reason, like a fat furry Moray Eel darting out from a cave. While playing he “herded” Shadowfax and nipped her hard enough to open up a gash that required stitches/vet visits/significant cash outlay. Has decided that he doesn’t care if he takes your finger or hand along with the treat you’re trying to give him. Continues to be severely situationally handicapped. Situationally handicapped means the following: ham or turkey being removed from the oven = no limp and spry as a kitten, no food in the kitchen and no one paying Tito attention = Tito limps severely.
Key Voting Demographics - the elderly, the angry, the ornery, people who like salt water taffy, former members of Menudo, grumpy old men who tell “back in my day…” stories, SCUBA enthusiasts, anyone who every bought a Ricky Martin or Marc Anthony album, gum chewers.
Jedi Master Shaak Ti (aliases - Shaak Ti, R-Dog, Scoops, Squito Burrito)
Sits and waits at her bed, demanding to be covered with a blanket or tucked in. Considers herself a college bound educated dog after she got a new collar with John’s employer – Northland Technical and Community College on it. Was inconsolable after her 3rd place finish in last year’s Deaf Dog of the Year contest (this may or may not have contributed to her eating disorder – see below).
Flaws and Negative Press – Is an extremely difficult patient during vet visits and requires two people to hold her even just to trim her toenails. Stinky breath has gotten progressively worse. May be anorexic since she only eats every second or third meal, and even then typically takes 20 minutes to eat a cup of kibble. Still doesn't understand the concept of sleeping in past 5:30 am. Crazy singing and off key "woo-wooing" are amazingly loud for a dog her size. Is high maintenance and constantly demands pets, whines loudly when not petted or allowed into laps. Has started mimicking Tito’s compulsive licking habit.
Key Voting Demographics – high jumpers, donkey and burro owners, people who enjoy burritos, community college students, Princesses (real or imagined), professional/amateur yodelers, halitosis sufferers, people with food sensitivity issues.
Shadowfax (aliases - Puppy, Puppytown, The Town, SweaterHead, ThrashyPants)
Puppy’s First Stitches) and four different rounds of antibiotics in 2012. Actively loves Grandpa and Grandma and behaves pretty well on visits to their house. Sleeps through the night much better than the other dogs and is happy and content in her crate (aka the Puppy Pod). Guards the house and loudly notifies the family of any dog, person, horse, or bike within a 2 block radius by barking crazily. Has the most regular and predictable outside elimination schedule.
Flaws and Negative Press – Cost close to $1,000 in vet visits/surgeries/medication in 2012. Scares neighbors and visitors with her insane barking/screeching/howling. Has not yet learned to play with a toy without destroying it, decimating the local lacrosse ball population. Actively loves Grandpa and Grandma so much that she forgets her training and jumps on them in an attempt to give them kisses. Destroyed her pink plastic kiddie pool this Summer. May be a doggie racist as she strongly dislikes all dark colored dogs. Broke more than one of Grandma’s necklaces while jumping up on her to give her kisses. Due to her wiggling, kissing, and jumping on the vet, she had to be sedated for procedures that might have been completed without anesthesia (and cost much less) if she wasn’t such a spaz.
Key Voting Demographics - young voters, opponents of BSL, geologists, winter sports enthusiasts, lacrosse players, people who enjoy all you can eat buffets, veterinarians, people who like go-karts, jewelry repair store owners.