A Music Video With (sort of) Garden Gnomes

Whether or not you're fans of the band Cage the Elephant, one of their videos (that I just discovered on YouTube) is a poignant cautionary tale against the very real dangers of committing gnomocide.

So think twice before you decide to purge those garden gnomes from your yard.  They may bring evil, but don't mess with 'em or you could end up in big trouble. 

Last Minute Gift Ideas - The Deaf Puppy 7000 System

Looking for a last minute gift idea for a loved one?  Searching for that perfect present to make Christmas morning special?  You should get the Deaf Puppy 7000 System for your family.  The Deaf Puppy 7000 System has literally thousands of uses!!!

Rid your house of unwanted fuzz bunnies!

Entertain the whole family for hours with original songs!

Serve as a paperweight to keep your other dogs from flying away during high wind events!

Prevent evil green dinosaurs from taking over your house!

Make you laugh for hours with their hilarious facial expressions!

And they make an amazing heated laptop platform!!!  Pick one up today.

Very Very Rare North Dakota Tree

You are in for a very special treat faithful reader, pictures of the most unique arboreal organism in the Upper Mid-West.  A one-of-a-kind plant in North Dakota.  A plant so rare that horticultural experts will likely flock to the area as soon as this entry is posted, and this will probably lead to thousands of tourists coming to the area every year. 

At first glance it appears to be nothing more that a typical pine/fir tree, unremarkable and ordinary.  The tree is growing in our next door neighbors yard and I had observed it for over a year now unsuspecting and unknowing that this is probably one of the living wonders of the world.  Here's a close up picture to help show the magic of this special, special tree.

Can you spot the fruit that this tree is bearing?  Look closely to find the red and red/yellow apples that are on this tree (click on the picture for a full screen view).  Seriously, this is an evergreen tree of some kind with apples on it.  Look again, can you spot the apples?  So what's the deal?  Well those really are apples on an evergreen tree.  Is this the rare North Dakota Pine-Apple Tree of legend?  Heck Yeah!!!

So what's the deal?  Is this a hoax?  Nope.  Are those really apples?  Yes they are.  So what's the deal? Well....about 30 yards to the right of this tree is an apple tree in the neighbors yard and they usually leave some of the apples on the tree for the squirrels to eat during the winter.  The squirrels grab the apples and then scamper up the tree for an apple picnic with a view.  Either they stash them there for later or have a few bites and get distracted (quite a few of the apples have chomps in them) and then leave them there.  So now you can tell your friends that you've seen a picture of a pineapple tree growing in North Dakota. 

Puppy Picture of the Week

Here's your sugary sweet dog pictures of the week.  All three pups snuggling together with Ms. The Professor. 

This is a pretty typical evening scene.  After our walk, puppy dinner (typically duck kibble), people dinner (typically NOT duck kibble), and doggy play/spaz time, everyone settles down for some pets and body heat sharing.  Alycia is a big proponent of snuggling and the dogs seem to know this.  She usually breaks out a clipboard and does some grading or lecture planning work while the dogs sprawl around her and snooze.

This is from nap time this weekend.  Alycia settled in for a morning couch nap and puppy tried repeatedly to join her on the couch*.  Eventually she just gave up, donned her Snuggie brand Snuggie and napped on the floor, which puppy greatly appreciated. 

*Puppy still finds it inconceivable that she isn't allowed to join us on the couch for snuggling or napping and we're constantly having to pull her off the couch.  It's not that she's a bad dog, and Tito and Shaak Ti aren't allowed on any couch so she hasn't learned from them, she just gets overwhelmed by the urge to snuggle with her people. Who can blame her?  I'm pretty awesome and I'd want to snuggle with me if I could...

I gave Alycia a Snuggie brand Snuggie last year for Christmas as kind of a joke, I mean really who can take a Snuggie seriously?  Since she used to use another blanket as a toga-like clothing article inside during the winter I thought that she might like a Snuggie brand Snuggie, and she did.  The only downsides to a Snuggie brand Snuggie is that due to their fleece fabric they a) attract dog hair like nothing else and b) conduct static electricity like nothing else.  Except for those two characteristics the Snuggie brand Snuggie is pretty awesome.  If I ever got cold inside during winter I might fancy one of my own.

Breast Cancer Cement Truck

Additional photo evidence to validate the hypothesis that this Pink Ribbon campaign has gone overboard. 

This photo was sent by undercover agent provocateur in Canada. 

Snow Shovels - An Artistic Photo Retrospective

When we bought our house here in Grand Forks the previous owners left a bunch of stuff (after asking us of course) for us.  These were all little things that individually aren't a big deal, but collectively have saved us numerous trips to the hardware store, many dollars, and untold annoyances.  They left us some garden tools, spare lumber, spare window screens, their old lawnmower - that served me well for a whole year, and about seven different snow shovels.

Leaving these snow shovels was truly the greatest blessing, not just because they probably would have cost $10 to $15 apiece, but also because I would have had no idea what I was buying.  Though I did live in snow country before (Massachusetts and Connecticut*), I really only had one snow shovel, and it was just a snow shovel.  I had no idea there are many different varieties of snow shovels, and for the snow shovel connoisseur/aficionado each one has a valuable place and serves an integral function in keeping the homestead properly snowscaped.

*These are also the two hardest to spell states, and they just happen to be right next to each other.  Coincidence? or sinister New Englander plot?  You decide.   I can't tell you how many elementary school geography quizzes/tests were ruined because I spelled Massachusetts wrong.  It's a friggin' geography test, not a spelling test, who cares how you spell it?  It's exactly like the Lisa Murkowski write-in vote recount controversy in Alaska, it's all about intent.  Who knew that my personal struggle with spelling Massachusetts 25+ years ago would be a portend of electoral issues in present day Alaska.  I am truly a trend setter...  

All of the shovels are legit, old school shovels.  Wooden handled, metal shovel, and sturdy as all get out.  None of this modern day plastic junk.  So without further adieu, I present the photo essay of the different kinds of snow shovels currently in use on the homestead.

The grain shovel.  It's best for large snowbanks or the berm left by the snow plow at the end of the driveway.

The mini-snow plow shovel.  It's blade is curved (hard to see from this picture) and is great for the driveway and sidewalks, especially if there's just an inch or two.  You just push along the ground and plow the snow forward.

The classic flat bladed shovel.  I use this for clearing the steps and sometimes the sidewalk.  It also is great for scraping/clearing the grass area for the dogs potty time.  I end up clearing about 400 square feet of space in the back yard to make sure the dogs have plenty of elimination location options.

OK, so this isn't technically a shovel, but it is an integral part of homestead snow/ice management.  This is the preferred tool for scraping ice from the back steps, and considering this is our main entrance to the house this tool is essential in keeping people and pups from falling on their backsides.

For those of you who used to live in cold climates this might stir echoes of the past and conjure up happy memories (yeah right) of shoveling snow as a kid.  For those who've lived in Southern California your whole lives this is probably completely foreign.

The Untimely Death of Harold the Dinosaur

Not since the death of Tourist Dog (see A Wake For Tourist Dog) have I witnessed such a callous disregard for life and wanton destruction of a stuffed creature.

Harold the Dinosaur has been with us for two or three years, is almost 2 feet tall and an awesome toy.  I purchased Harold with the full knowledge that he was too big for Shaak Ti, but hoping that it would help her raise her game, and attain new heights of dog toy chompdom.  Shaak Ti plays with him regularly and even though she had a couple years to work, hadn't established much more than a bulkhead crotch hole in Harold's tough dinosaur hide.  From this hole she was able to extract some stuffing (which we would promptly restuff) but leave Harold relatively intact.  This caused little concern (other than Shaak Ti's proclivity to attack the crotch area) for Harold's well being.  Enter puppy.

This was the scene of carnage in the kitchen the other day.  Stuffed fluffy dinosaur innards were everywhere.

Local wind currents in the kitchen from the puppy tornado had gathered the fluff into large piles. 

Poor Harold's deflated carcass sat sadly nearby.  I quickly put him up on the operating table (the kitchen counter) and began emergency re-stuffing measures.  After re-stuffing him his vitals stabilized and after a few minutes we thought he might be OK. 

But post-op Harold was quickly and mercilessly eviscerated again.

And again.

Single Puppy Picture

Puppy and Shaak Ti have grown to be good enough friends that Shaak Ti permits puppy to share the snuggle ball dog bed with her.  Those North Dakota winters can make you do some crazy things just to keep warm. 

It may be hard to see Shaak Ti, but she's underneath the fuzzy dog blanket on the right (you can just see a nose and paw sticking out).