The Graduation Couch

Alycia recently had some tooth pain and after a dental appointment learned that she needed a crown on a back molar (I blame the Celiac Disease - Damn You!!!). Not a big deal for most folks, only she found out that her dental insurance, while very happy to cover cleanings, X-Rays, and filings, wanted nothing to do with crowns. Our options became a) suck it up and deal with it until approximately August when the UND insurance kicks in (not my choice, also not her choice) or b) pay the $800 or so for a new crown out of pocket.

This is when Alycia's guardian angels (her kindly folks in Cavalier, North Dakota) mentioed during a phone conversation that for graduation they would be happy to buy her a new tooth!!! Woohoo!!! A graduation tooth (fake tooth really, since a crown isn't really a tooth). No one knows what they would have gotten for her had this dental disaster not surfaced, but it got me to thinking - "Is a new tooth the strangest thing anyone has ever gotten for graduation?" Probably not, but it is pretty odd. And it brought to mind the story of my graduation couch.

Can you spot the graduation couch in the picture????

The graduation couch came to be when I successfully ended my matriculation at the University of California, Santa Barbara. I staged a small BBQ with housemates, friends, and other like minded folk on my next to last day in town, and invited my parents and sister up as well. Much to my chagrin they all decided to attend.

Now as a little back story, my parents had gotten my sister a rather expensive gift of jewelry (some kind of necklace/ring/bracelet set), which I could care less about, and I wasn't really motivated by any manner of gift at all until my Mom rolled out the red carpet of embarrassing parental antics at aforementioned BBQ. But whether it was due to their own gift giving generosity or my sisters insistence, and precedent had been set of graduation gift giving, and I wasn't about to be left out.

To get back to the ambarrassing antics portion of the story.....So a festive (but very PG rated) gathering is going on and my folks and sister roll up to the house. Unbeknownst to me, dear old Mom has thrown back at least one, possibly more, bottles of wine before the event, and was thus adequately primed and ready to roll with inebriated shenanigans.

And as yet another aside, no one ever mentions "Congratulations" or anything similar, and no one even has a card, I mean C'mon?!?!!? The only person bearing anything is my sisters friend Hilary, who I've never met before, but yet is thoughtful enough to bring a nice "Congratulations" card. She forever has a special place in my heart for being more thoughtful and gracious than my own family members.

Suffice to say that Mom spent the time stumbling around and being mildly embarrassing until at some point she loudly asked "Where are all your white friends at?" I determined at this point that it was a good time to enlist my sister to help me shepherd my dear sweet Mom to the car, where according to legend she later threatened to assault the hotel valet with an empty wine bottle before retiring for the evening.

It was after this outstanding performance that I demanded retribution, and considering at the time I was lounging on milk crates in my post-college apartment type domicile, I thought a couch to be the perfect gift/extortion payment for emotional distress. Thus the graduation couch came to be, born of the awkward angst of a drunken Mom, celebrating amongst my friends, and threatening hotel staff with empty wine bottles. It twas a wonderful origination, the graduation couch, and lo it continues to support my dreams horizontal lethargy on a daily basis, mostly during nap time....